Government jokes
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Memes
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Hillary Clinton
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Trump, must I say more?
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).