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What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.

9/11 happened... right?

The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.

Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

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    • Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?

    What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

    They don't have a home to get their guns.