What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Gun control...
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Hillary Clinton
Trump.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
