Government jokes

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

so Trump can't tweet it.

What do Japanese men do when they vote?

They have an erection.

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

He was snowed in.

What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.

Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS Arrrrr.

What is the opposite of Progress?

Congress.

What do you call disabled people that follow politics?

A special interest group.