Government

Government jokes

Why are Americans such good chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

  • 4

    • It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

    He only won the election because of rigging.

    82 million votes my ass.

    Ask me for proof.

    Texans: Don't mess with Texas.

    *snows 1 inch*

    Texans: Please help us, President Biden!

    What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?

    Post Office.

    If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

    I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.

    I've seen too many of them get elected.

  • 1

    • Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?

    Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.

    Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

    Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

    Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

    Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

    Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

    Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

    Brother 2: You monster.

    Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

    Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

    Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

    Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

    Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

    Brother 1: Found them.

    *imaginary mother and brother fade away*

    Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

    Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

    Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.

    Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ́s propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers