Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
There are sexiest women in politics.
They should be in a car showroom.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
