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Government jokes

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.