Government jokes
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
U.S.A: No Queen?
England: No towers?
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.