Government jokes
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(
What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?
Not much difference.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.