Government jokes

Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

I'm Joe Biden's husband.

Who is king of the pencils?

The ruler!

BIDEN!

"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"

"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?

A MAGAzine.

What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?

The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.

What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?

They both have eyes.

The "d" in Africa stands for democracy...

Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?

White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

"Let's go Brandon!"

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.