A alien goes to area 51 but what I wonder why he doesn't go to your house
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
(A scientist time travels into the year 2024) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
Which president has never gone to jail........ Lincoln because he's in a cent get it innocent in a cent
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
What do you call a country with nukes? Abomination.
donald trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
How do you tell the difference between Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
