Good jokes
Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?
Because he was good with bars and beats.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
Can I be your tripod? Because I want to take a good look at you from all angles.
Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
I blend children to make a good living.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.