Good jokes
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
my dad is good
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
Why were Twin Towers mad that their food wasn’t good enough?
Because they got plain.
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com