Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
