Good jokes
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Good night, boys.
I like goodies.
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.
Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.
"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."
The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.
"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.