So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good but I loved the execution.
I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.
We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.
Then, she asked me flirtatiously,
"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet."
She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,
"Mom, are you still awake?"
What should people do with their floppy dicks? I Give them a Good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of someting
1. Are you talking to me becasue i think you talked to my back side. 2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth. 3. My foot last longer than your life.
Your mum is so fat i had to take 2 buses and a train toget to her good side.
why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off? they can't stand to see a man have a good time
Me:how does this thing work? ForTnite kid: oh u don’t know how to use a pistol look I’ll show you ForTnitekid: shoots foot Me: that wasn’t a very good demonstration
They said that new juice world album was shaking good....
I am a good role model. Because you look up to me. DEEZ NUTS
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down I’m good at depression
Why are the English so good at chess? Because there Queen never dies.
Why are the Americans good at rubix cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colours.
My grief counselor died the other day
He was so good at his job, i don't even care.
My dad died in 911.... He was a good driver
When you suffer from depression and Somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: my goodness, what an idea! why didn't i think of this before
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python? When they are hungry they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eat for a day, you give a man a language and he eat for a lifetime
Friend: Slavery isnt good Other friend: Yea its terrible Me: shut up and get me a juice
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner The joke is I new right after she said I'll call you She was lying to me, not surprised even a little The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call , but did I really think she was going to, I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place, I think it was just to prove I was right , I'm unwanted LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS
Wolf looks like a fox It has the sharpest claws It has a bushy tail To eat it doesn't fail It has a coat of red My grandmother has said It hunts for search of food It is never never good
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
