Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market? “Good evening ladies."
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
My girl ask me have i seen a gorilla anywhere i told yes i did see one a minute ago at the central park zoo he said if you don't behave he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abanded for good.
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
son:dad can i got a gf dad:son no u r oley 10 so no son:dad on bye am leave to get a gf dad:son nooo u r not my son son:whit did u say son slap the dad dad:sud son good bye get out of my home son:good u can go move to a new home
Why I can't have no chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
why do potatoes make good detectives because tey keep there eyes peeled
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
