Gonna jokes

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.

What is the best thing about gay people?

They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!

Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.

Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.

"Never gonna give you up."

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

You gonna poop someday.

Man: Could you hold this for me?

Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*

Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What did one canyon say to the other?

You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.