New Gonna Jokes

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

Donald Trump is gonna be the best president we have ever had.

Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"

Marvin: "I don’t believe that."

Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"

The next morning,

Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"

*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They’re draining the economy doooown!

They’ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill Jack’s seed.

They’ve ruined our wonderful town!

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They have no moralityyyy.

They’re spreading degeneracy.

We ain't what we used to be.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.

Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill!

They’ve banked off buying boooze!

They’ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice.

Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

Their kids’re in the business tooo!

They’re draining all our banks.

Give 'em well deserved spanks.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!

A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!

WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.

This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.

Stop with the 9/11 jokes.

They're not gonna fly.

Stop with the 9\11 jokes people. They're just not gonna fly.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.

I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.