Gonna Jokes

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but.

Bin there done that

Mrs. Kadie- I heard about this Mr. Beast Video about Veggie Burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again Mr., Beast- Today we're gonna be eating a Hot tender Burger Mrs. Kadie- OMG he didn't say vegan Viewers- HAHAHA WE TRICKED YOU Mrs. Kadie- That's it Mr. Beast we're gonna pour Blood on your face Mr. Beast& Chandler- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!

my brother and i were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf, my mom cam in and started asking who knocked it over, to which i replied that i only had my shelf to blame.

heya can i axe you a question?

my brother like to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. i said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with not going to stop who? i told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

I'm gonna cut my life off\

a jew and jew walk in bar goy say what u want jew say give it alcohol jew say my son run away and become christian another jew pipe in he say my son too bar tender turn around he say “u not gonna believe this...”

well i was gonna make a joke about drunk people but that would be good for the health

Jeffy- Daddy Daddy a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat

Marvin-I don’t believe that

Jeffy- but he said “Jeffy I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat”

The next morning

Jeffy- Daddy a monster pooped in your hat

*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

Marvin- Jeffy I don’t believe you you popped in my hat

What did Stephen hawking love that couldn't move? himself ps particularly his whole body I was gonna say his legs but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Once a monkey lives in a jamun tree his friend crocodile came there to eat jamun everyday second day he ate some jamun and left some for his wife soon his wife said why don't you kill this monkey you befriend the crocodile was sad and then ask the monkey to come at his place the monkey said what if I drowned the crocodile said jump on my back the monkey jumped on his back the crocodile soon said I am gonna kill you my wife is sick and want to eat your heart the monkey the monkey said I left my heart on the jamin tree then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree

I was gonna go to a shooting gallery but I realize that schools aren't open on sundays

There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !

Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !

This huntsman also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear .

Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,

He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!

I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!

Meanwhile ..,

there’s This cat !!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....

Easy pickings ...

Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,

DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!

Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie

The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...

LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............

every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )

WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx

Prince might be with a new girl but he still wants Gwen, who dosent. Other half.

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through gmail. We broke up, its over!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I missed you a lot! Please come back to me.

Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry I can't hear you...your breaking up...what?!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Want more go to break up jokes, love jokes, hate jokes and Revenge jokes and rape jokes!

There were 5 people on an airplane. 1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

The plane takes off, A good, solid 1 hour in, The pilot comes out and says "Ok guys, I have good news and bad news, Bad News is the plane is gonna crash, The good news is that I have 4 parachutes" The pilot says to his passengers, " Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes, People depend on me" Took a parachute and went out. The businessman stands up and says " Well I'm a businessman, I run companies" Took a parachute and went out The smartest person in the world stands up and says " I'm the smartest person in the world, No one is smarter than me" Took a parachute and went out Now the minister says to the school child " Well God has given me a good life, I want you to take the last parachute" and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says " Why are you smiling?!, We're about to die!!!!" and the school child says to the minister "Well actually not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag

so i walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies i stole one not noticing my mom was behind me.....so my mom said PUT THE COOKIE BACK KID!!!!and i said i wasn ́t gonna eat it and she said then she said nevermind i ́ll get you ́re father so my mom said HONEY DEAL WITH YOURE SON I ́M GOING TO THE MALL!! and my dad said son if ur not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!!so he went into his room and i heard the belt and i was going to run but i knew it would be worse so he said this will be you ́re punishment as he was getting ready to hit me i said daddy no please i wasnt gonna was not going to eat it but he said NO U WONT CHANGE MY MIND LITTLE BOY then he hit me THANK YOU FOR READING STAY HEALTHY AND STAY SAFE IN THIS TIME BYE!!! read more of my jokes they ́ll prob be around the website!!