Go jokes

There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each was granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said, "I wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

The pilot goes "We're going down!"

The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

What did the penis say to the condom?

"Cover me, I'm going in!"

What do you call a club that owls go to?

Hooters.

Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.

The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

Why did the guitarist go to prison?

'Cause he fingered A minor.

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.

Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?

He had no body to go with.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry.