Go

Go jokes

Add joke

Peaches-REMAKE-By-Justin Beiber and watersharky Music Productions-

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

And I see you (oh), the way I breathe you in (in), it's the texture of your skin

I wanna wrap my arms around you, baby, never let you go, oh

And I say, oh, there's nothing like your touch

It's the way you lift me up, yeah

And I'll be right here with you 'til the end

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

You ain't sure yet, but I'm for ya

All I could want, all I can wish for

Nights alone that we miss more

And days we save as souvenirs

There's no time, I wanna make more time

And give you my whole life

I left my girl, I'm in Mallorca

Hate to leave her, call it torture

Remember when I couldn't hold her

Left her baggage for Rimowa

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

I get the feeling, so I'm sure (sure)

Hand in my hand because I'm yours

I can't, I can't pretend, I can't ignore you're right for me

Don't think you wanna know just where I've been, oh

Done being distracted

The one I need is right in my arms (oh)

Your kisses taste the sweetest with mine

And I'll be right here with you 'til end of time

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

(I get my light right from the source, yeah, yeah)

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it).

Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions-

Astro-naut

What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

I feel like an astronaut in the ocean

She say that I'm cool (damn straight)

I'm like "yeah, that's true" (that's true)

I believe in G-O-D (ayy)

Don't believe in T-H-O-T

She keep playing me dumb (play me)

I'ma play her for fun (uh-huh)

Y'all don't really know my mental

Lemme give you the picture like stencil

Falling out, in a drought

No flow, rain wasn't pouring down (pouring down)

See, that pain was all around

See, my mode was kinda lounged

Didn't know which-which way to turn

Flow was cool but I still felt burnt

Energy up, you can feel my surge

I'ma kill everything like this purge (ayy)

Let's just get this straight for a second, I'ma work

Even if I don't get paid for progression, I'ma get it (get it)

Everything that I do is electric

I'ma keep it in a motion, keep it moving like kinetic, ayy (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Put this shit in a frame, better know I don't blame

Everything that I say, man I seen you deflate

Let me elevate, this ain't a prank

Have you walkin' on a plank, la-la-la-la-la, like

Both hands together, God, let me pray (now let me pray)

Uh, I've been going right, right around, call that relay (Masked Wolf)

Pass the baton, back and I'm on

Swimming in the pool, Kendrick Lamar, uh

Want a piece of this, a piece of mine, my peace a sign

Can you please read between the lines?

My rhyme's inclined to break your spine

They say that I'm so fine

You could never match my grind

Please do not, not waste my time

What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

I feel like an astronaut in the ocean.

Ah (gas, gas, gas) Ah Do you like my car? Guess you're ready 'cause I'm waiting for you. It's gonna be so exciting. Got this feeling really deep in my soul. Let's get out, I wanna go, come along, get it on. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive along 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Don't be lazy 'cause I'm burning for you. It's like a hot sensation. Got this power that is taking me out. Yes, I've got a crush on you, ready, now, ready, go. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive alone 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Gonna take my car, do you like my car? 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

Gas, gas, gas, Yeah, yeah, yeah Gas, gas, gas, And you'll see the big show. Ah

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?

Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha

Wash It Away - By Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions - Why does it always feel like I'm the one that's had a bad day?

Whether I'm stuck in traffic or showing up to work late,

Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to forever been working all week

For a jerk that thinks they can say whatever they want to me

I'll just bite my tongue for a couple more days

Soon I'll be in that island sun surfing those waves

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta wash it away

Finally I'm here and I can't even stop myself from smiling

Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island

Don't miss my 9 to 5

Living like a local on this island time

I got those sandy toes and nobody knows jump in the ocean and just go with the flow

I'll miss my sandy toes

I've got to go back before you know this island is my home

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta wash it away

Wash it away

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta

Wash it away

Wash it away

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

  • 5
  • 1

    • Ok, here's a story about the church.

    There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

    Okay Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD.

    My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya, Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love, Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up, Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up, Now you the one that I'm calling, Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking, I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya, Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough, Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya, Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya, Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, I'll never give my all again, 'Cause I'm sick of falling down, When I open up and give my trust, They find a way to break it down, Tear me up inside, and you break me down.

    You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

    Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

    Walk The Dinosaur-By watersharky Productions and Was(Not Was)-

    Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

    It was a night like this forty million years ago I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

    I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

    One night I dreamed of New York You and I roasting blue pork In the Statue of Liberty's torch Elvis landed in a rocket ship Healed a couple of leapers and disappeared But where was his beard?

    A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird A screaming crashing noise louder than I've ever heard It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur

    Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

    My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.