Give jokes

Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.

If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.

A dwarf walks into a bar.

He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"

Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!

Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.

Never gonna give you up.

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?

Chip, chip, hooray!

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Ha ha! Get rickrolled!

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.