Give jokes

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.

Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!

Never gonna give you up.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.

Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.

Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?

Chip, chip, hooray!

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Ha ha! Get rickrolled!

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.