Give jokes

Never gonna give you up.

Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.

Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.

Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

What do you give a sick bird?

Tweet-ment!

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.