Give jokes

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

Dark humor and women are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.

Roses are red Lemons are sour Lift your skirt up and give me an hour

Why do orphans play GTA?

To be wanted.

Why do orphanages give out free phones?

So you can press the home button.

Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.

Probably top.

Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.

A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.

Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?

Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.

Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?

Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.

LOL xD

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.