I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
rizz
are you a biographer cause i picture us toghether can i take a picture of you for i can show santa what i want for christmas No pen No paper you still draw my attention you know what i hate about math they always talk about x and y but not about u and i
i got a pen for my baby sister best trade i made so far
just got a iphone 12 for my brother, best trade i've ever made
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”
My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."
I bought a book for my blind friend :)
I told my mother i wanted a brother for Christmas The next day i saw her in the strip club across the street
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope
As an Autist I find these jokes really funny, thanks for the early 13th bday present ya'll :>
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...
what did the orphan ask Santa for. a good family
Q. What did Hitler give he's niece for her birthday A. An easy bake oven
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
I went to the principal's office cuz I gave a deff kid ear pod for his birthday
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
