What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.
One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.
The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"
Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
In the realm of pixels and screens, Josh pursues videos, a world unseen. Six dollars exchange, a transaction made, A story told, emotions cascade.
The power of film, a gift divine, Stirring souls, weaving through time. Six dollars spent, a connection formed, A simple act, a heart transformed.
In every frame, a universe unfolds, Captivating minds, stories untold. Josh buys videos for six, a token small, Yet within them lies magic, captivating all.
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.
Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.
Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
