Gift jokes
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.