What did hitler get for his 6th birth day???
A KEWsy burger and an easy bake oven
What did Santa Claus brought Michael Jackson for Christmas ? His elf’s 😂😂😂
what did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas.
he couldn't even open it.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas? He got gloves. Ohh sry he cud never open the present.
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
I gave my blind friend a peice of sand paper, he said it was the most grusome book ever.
so i got my sister shampoo for her birthday and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but toady is a gift that is why it I called the present.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday", then they want to give you a spanking.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met, the perfect birthday gift. Chlamydia.
i got a toaster for my birthday and said "yay new bath bomb"
i saw a depressed kid and i gave him a lamp to lighten up his day
I heard life was a gift. Well I hope they kept the receipt, Because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Q: the person who makes it doesnt say what it is the person who receives it doesn't know what it is the person who knows what it is doesn't want it what am i? A: a baby
What is a animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday, guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch
I got LEGOs for Christmas and my friend got her father's headstone
What did Stephen Hawkings get for his BDay, Chocolate arm.
