i saw a depressed kid and i gave him a lamp to lighten up his day
I heard life was a gift. Well I hope they kept the receipt, Because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
i got a toaster for my birthday and said "yay new bath bomb"
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but toady is a gift that is why it I called the present.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday", then they want to give you a spanking.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met, the perfect birthday gift. Chlamydia.
What is a animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Q: the person who makes it doesnt say what it is the person who receives it doesn't know what it is the person who knows what it is doesn't want it what am i? A: a baby
What did Stephen Hawkings get for his BDay, Chocolate arm.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What do orphan want to get for Christmas ... a mother
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year and he was so ungrateful like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to
So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
What did sally get for Easter.. Nail polish,
i got my blind friend a tv.. he never uses it
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy. Why?
The kid had no legs.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas. -herpes
sally has no arms. what did she get for Christmas? idk she hasn't opened it yet.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
