Gift

Gift jokes

Puppy

    • My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

    A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

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    • Sister

    • There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

    When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

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    • Child

    • Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

    Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

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    • Gift memes

    Pedophile

    • What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

    He said he was awfully touched!

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    • Watch

    • My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."

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    • Friend

    • What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

    Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

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    • Santa

    • Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?

    Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.

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