Gift jokes
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
I bought a book for my blind friend.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?