Get jokes

How do you get a blonde to drown?

Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Why does it get hot after a baseball game?

'Cause all the fans have left.

Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?

He didn’t, there was no lift...!

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.

Thanks for learning and getting advice.

Also, don't be such a horny one!

So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"

Get it? "Horse-ing."

Why do nuns walk in groups?

So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.

Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.

Me: "/"

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"

Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."

Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"

Dad: "That isn't the remote."

*Weird background music*

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"