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What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?

What do you get from pampered cows?

Spoiled milk.

Sisters before misters.

I hope you get better.

I love you.

Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

Why are smurfs blue?

Because they get bruises all the time.

How do you get ten babies in a bucket?

With a blender.

Why can’t orphans play baseball/softball?

They never get to home!

Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

You masturbate...

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.

Why did the rapper get lost in the music?

Because he couldn't find the beat.

Why don’t rappers ever get lost?

They always have a NAVIGATOR dropping the beat.

Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?

A. They call an AmBOOlance.

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

Hello everyone, I am famous YouTuber MrBeast. I have an announcement to make on this website: Whoever gets the 1000th comment on the post I link below will get 1 thousand dollars, from me! We're almost there, get commenting guys!

https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603e8cd3eccd25122cb21897/guys-lets-make-this-post-have-the-most-comments-on-the-whole-website

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered Domino's and got "gets".