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Woman

What do women and dog turds have in common?

The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

Memes

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Mom

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

Stereotype

An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"

Roblox

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

Overpopulation

Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:

Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.

Aussie

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to your house.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."

Duck

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?

A: To get to the other side.