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Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...

    Part

    • The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.

    Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

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    Woman

    • A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

    The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

    An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

    "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

    A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

    "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

    If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

    A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

    "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

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    • Synonym

    • A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.

    The teacher says, "Oh, John!"

    John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"

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    • Obama

    • During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.

    Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

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    • Girlfriend

    • I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?

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    • Music

    • Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.

    Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?

    Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh

    In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same

    Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"

    Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh

    In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same

    Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.

    Government

    • A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

    When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

    “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.

    “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

    “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.

    In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"

    Rabies

    • Friend: I got bit.

    Other friend: By what?

    Friend: A dog.

    Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)

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    • Christian

    • What do Christians and gays have in common?

    They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.