Get jokes
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
How do you get gum out of your hair? Cancer.
What did Sally get for Christmas? Ligma?
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.