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Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
Juice WRLD died a legend. Making these jokes won't get you anywhere. Grow up.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.