Get jokes

A twin engine has two engines.

If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.

If I get an atom, I would split it with you.

For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.

In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.

I guess I failed.

When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!

Try with a cucumber.

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?

Snooze Dogg.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.

Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?

Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.

Is it so? Do people get freedom?

Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.

Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...

Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a day off.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

Q: What do men and math tests have in common?

A: They get cheated on.

My grandfather killed Hitler.

Get it? Get it?

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.