Get jokes

Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.

What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?

What in the Robot!?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

So it could get to the other side!

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

How do you get an emo out of the tree?

You cut the rope.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

The apples get picked.

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

This isn't a joke but...

GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.

What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.

Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?

They couldn't hit home base.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why don’t she stand up for herself?

When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.