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What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.
They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."
Where is my dad?
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
What's the difference between a rock and a woman?
The flat ones get skipped.
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.