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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Memes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...