Get jokes
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
I'm doin' your mom. Yes, yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen but her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said, "Yo baby wassup?" She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me so we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.