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What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
Get pranked, bozo!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
What time do you have when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Get confused with Confucius!
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
When I get hungry 😋
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?