Get jokes

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Why can orphans never go on field trips?

Because they can’t get a parent signature.

Why do orphans not get family size [items]?

Because they don’t have a family to share with.

Do nut get in my way.

Do nut get in my way.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?

A: With a blender!

Q: How do you take them out?

A: With Doritos!

Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.

Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)