Get jokes
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
LOL only HK fans get it
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?
Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.