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Stress

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

Golfer

Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

ACE

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

Memes

Orphan

Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

Baby

Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?

A: With a blender!

Q: How do you take them out?

A: With Doritos!

Ballerina

Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?

She was standing way too close to the dancers.

Ballerina

Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?

She was standing way too close to the dancers.

Obsession

I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.

Forehead

Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.

I know it's bad, sorry.

Orphanage

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

Ad

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

Knock

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Please.

Please who?

Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.

Lol.

Cheeseburger

Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.

Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.

Turkey

What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?

Drumsticks for everyone!

Ocean

What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)