Get jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked at least.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
me when i do not get the math in class
What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.