Get jokes
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.