Get jokes
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.
Can emo kids get happy meals?
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.