Get jokes
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.