Get jokes
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Can emo kids get happy meals?
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.