Get jokes

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔

Then it hit me 🤧😂

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?

A: Apples get picked! 😱

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.