How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Get Jokes
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔
Then it hit me 🤧😂
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
