Get jokes

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

How do you get a Japanese fanclub?

Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!

What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?

You get no-eye-deer.

Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?

Half n' Half hehe.

Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.

Sorry not sorry -sans

What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?

A: Where's the holy baby?

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?

Because he cheated on a test.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked.

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

Why can orphans not play bingo?

Because they can't get a full house.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Why do orphans get iPhones 11?

Because it has no home page.

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)

Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?

Because who wants a traffic an adult?

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.