Get jokes
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.