Get jokes
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don't get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!"
Everybody does this
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?