Get jokes
What did one orphan say to the other?
"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.