Get jokes
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
ssundee: "If this video gets to 100k likes, I'll post part 2."
SSUNDEE WIFE: "SHUT THE #### UP!"
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.