Get jokes

Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."