Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
Geography Jokes
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
Your hairline is so big even Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?
One held its balance, the other two fell.
When your plane heads for New York...
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and on their land.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
