Funny jokes

Why can’t an emo have sex?

They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.

How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.

What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!

Funni.

Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?

It was nut funny.

What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

What did the goat say?

"Let's play the grass!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes