Funny jokes
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Spongulbub
Spingebinge
Sponk
Spunkulbub
Bobspunge
Spong
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!