Funeral jokes

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

I was always poked and told at weddings your next...

So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....

How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.

Little Johnny died.