Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Little Johnny died.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
