Funeral jokes

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.

Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.

I was always poked and told at weddings your next...

So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....