Frog jokes
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Memes
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.