Friends Jokes

Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: *gasps* whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off... Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn't exciting, make something up!

I was at a friends place yesterday, and... There was A mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.

That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.

An hour later they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep. So I looked in the brothers room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.

I sighed at this. "Incest aside. You guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you." I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.

Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

Why did Oliver have no friends?

His last name was Clothesoff and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.

My friend:What are you doing Me:I ́m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I ́m boiling the hell out of it.

if Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and i had 10 to start what do I have?

Answer -a math problem insta =carlosalvarezz

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp of a roof

I got kicked outta the poker game They said i was a little*cheet-ah*

My friend looks like a homeless thanks for the jokes

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok... mhmmm.. WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it..) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn't know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)

so this gu named andrew furda was my boy friend for like a half a week so five days then bam i cut my hair he only liked me for my looks and i hoped he regrets it because it is WAR so if u see dis u going down andrew!

So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)

Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

My friends daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

Me: What the diffrtn between me and my grandpa? Friends: What? Me I've been alive for the past 14 years

Husband: Honey, Do you want sex? Whife: No thanks i have a headache. Husband: Is that your final answer? Whife: Mmmmm. Husband: Are you shure? -Whife Yes Husband: No doubts? Whife: No Husband starring a long time at his whife. Husband: Okey, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend. -