Friends jokes

Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.

Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

(AT BED TIME)

Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

Ben: "I'm not."

(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

"I told my black friend a joke. I told him he needs to lighten up!"

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

Why did Sally fall out of the swing?

She had no arms.

Why couldn’t she get up?

Because she had no friends.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

Dinosaurs be like:

".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.

A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...

Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

Come on guys, please let's play Roblox. My name is xX_robloxGamer420Po_Xx.